Big Billy – I can see clearly now

My darlin’ wife Minnie is blind as a bat. Of course, she denies it up and down, but I’ll tell ya how bad it got – she couldn’t tell the salt from the pepper. I’m serious, now. I think I told yis before, she got this cow theme goin’ in the kitchen. Placemats, oven mitts, …

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Big Billy – Get yer fruit into ya

So there I am at the doctor’s office, sittin’ on the table with the puffy black top and the crinkly white sheet of paper, waitin’ for the doctor to come in. I gotta say, I was feelin’ pretty cocky, like a kid with all the answers written on his arm, waitin’ for the test to …

Big Billy – A trick for treats

Every year on Halloween, Minnie thinks she’s gonna keep me out of the treats, but every year she’s sadly mistaken.  Now, the way I am, I put everything off ‘til the last minute, and even then I’m not always crazy about doin’ stuff. That’s why for three years in a row I got Minnie’s anniversary …

Big Billy – If ya can’t beet ‘em, join ‘em

Now before I say what I’m gonna say, let me just say my wife Minnie is a wonderful cook. I go on and on all the time about her spaghetti and meatballs and her lasagne, and her five alarm chili and everything else. So keep that in mind if ya see me walkin’ down the …

Big Billy – Revved up like a deuce

I was over Cyril’s there the other day helpin’ him work on his truck. Now, that’s usually the code word we use when we’re just gonna go sit in his garage and drink beer all day. We’ll prop the hood up and open the toolbox so it looks like we’re doin’ somethin’, but it’s almost …

Big Billy – Peanuts and Crackerjack

OK, I’ll say it. I had enough of the Little League. Don’t get me wrong now – the ball itself is fine, and everybody loves the kids and wants them to win. I’m cheerin’ on the hometown boys and everything else. It’s not really the Little League itself I got a problem with. It’s the way …

Big Billy – Four weddings and a shaving accident

It wouldn’t be summer if ya weren’t bein’ dragged off to weddings all the time. Somebody’s cousin’s neighbour’s daughter is gettin’ married ever other weekend and before ya know it, the wife’ll have ya climbin’ in the shower and wearin’ clothes too fancy to even change a tire in. [Full story]