Minnie’s likely to tell you one of my favourite things to do in the whole world is to go fishin’. And that would be completely true – goin’ fishin’ is right up near the top of my list. But see, the thing is, Minnie thinks my favourite part of goin’ fishin’ is the fishin’, when …
Category Archives: Big Billy
Big Billy – Bonfire of insanities
No matter what Minnie tells ya, let me just say, it wasn’t my fault. [Read more]
Big Billy – Beans in your ears
There used to be an old song that went, “My mother told me never to put beans in my ears, beans in my ears” (etc.) that one of our teachers at school when we were kids used to sing all the time under his breath, like the way some people hum. [Read more]
Big Billy – Sunburn Blues
You can’t even dare to look outside on a sunny day anymore without fifteen people jumpin’ down your neck, tellin’ ya to put on sunscreen. Get yer SPF 45! Minnie barks at me if I even so much as reach for the doorknob to Big BIllygo outside. [Read more]
Big Billy – Monster Truck Jesus
I don’t know if I ever told yis this before, but Cyril loves monster trucks more than pretty much anything else in life. So when I found out Cyril and Joan won big money on a ticket, I figured it wouldn’t Big BIllytake too long before Cyril tried to put some giant tires on his F150 …
Big Billy – Only in my dreams
I was watchin’ a kung fu movie on TV and I got the munchies. So I had two slices of leftover pizza at about midnight and Minnie said that’s what gave me this weird dream – and let me tell yis, it was the weirdest dream I ever had in my life. [Read more]
Big Billy – Money changes everything
Minnie gets off the phone and walks into the livin’ room where I’m sprawled out on the chair with the fan on me and chip crumbs down my shirt, watchin’ the Blue Jays game. Who was on the phone? I said, because she just kinda stood there with her Big BIllyeyebrows sorta scrunched up and her …
Big Billy – Full of hot air
I don’t mind tellin’ yis, if there’s a way for me to get out of doin’ somethin’, I’ll take that way every time. I never done an ounce more work than the bare minimum that needed to be done, and I ain’t ashamed of it, either. I’m kind of proud of it, actually. [Read more]
Big Billy – The carpet matches the drapes
Me and Minnie went into the mall the other day to see if we could get the kids somethin’ for Gradin’ Day. There’s certain stores only men should go in and there’s certain stores only women should go in. [Read more]
Big Billy – As changeable as the weather
If somebody came by your house, stuck their head in your front door and told ya an outrageous lie every day, ya probably wouldn’t want that fella to come around your house too much. But for some reason, every day around suppertime Minnie turns on the TV and lets Big BIllythe weatherman fill our heads with …
John McNeil 