Big Billy – Two blind priests and a monkey

Anybody knows me, knows I got a big mouth. So it ain’t much of a surprise when every once in a while my foot ends up in my mouth and I say somethin’ really, really, stupid – I admit it. Most of them times I don’t realize there’s anything wrong with what I’m sayin’. [Read …

Big Billy – The nuts off the Seal Island Bridge

To tell ya the truth, I knew there was somethin’ wrong with the furnace about two weeks before Minnie did. There was one morning I woke up and went downstairs before everybody else and put the tea on. Of course, it was before seven in the morning, so it’s still completely dark outside, and holy …

Big Billy – Girl Guide cookie mafia

I mentioned last week how every time a politician came around knockin’ on the door I’d jump up hopin’ it was somebody sellin’ Girl Guide cookies. Well, what I didn’t tell yis is I had a foolproof master plan for gettin’ my hands on all the Girl Guide cookies I could find this year. But …

Big Billy – Election sign language

Ah, fall. That magical time of year when the leaves change colour and drop while election signs of all colours spring up. Ya run to answer the knock at the door after supper thinkin’ its finally somebody sellin’ Girl Guide cookies only to discover some tool with a big fake smile shakin’ your hand and beamin’ …

Big Billy – How to get the TV all to yourself

Minnie’s been tryin’ to get me to eat vegetables and healthy stuff for years but so far I’ve been pretty good at gettin’ out of it most of the time. Nowadays, she knows I hate that stuff, but years ago I had to be sneaky about not eatin’ it because I didn’t want to hurt …

Big Billy – Back to school

Ah, the first week of school. Every other year, it always went like this: The week before the first day of class, Little Bill stays up all night playin’ video games in his room and tries to sleep the whole next day away until sometime around 1:00 in the afternoon Minnie storms halfways upstairs with …